While taking a break from my Sunday Saints Prayer Spectacular (I practically chant “hold on to the damned football” in my sleep), a Verizon commercial prompted me to post some sort of year-end tribute. Seriously, I was touched by the script. Anyway, my tribute has already been done for me <a href="http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2006-06.html"> at this link. </a> <br />
<strong>Perfecting Attendance</strong><br /><br />Towards the end of every semester, it seems that at least two timeless thoughts cross the minds of every collegian: “How many classes have I skipped?” and “Wait – the final is <i>when</i>?”<br />
<p>Here’s a quick listing of interesting ways to fail a test. When in need, feel free to use one if not all the following (when applicable):<br /><br /><strong><font size="3">1. Arrive early.</font></strong> </p>
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As promised in this week's <a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/columns/emike"><i>Scholarly Tabloid</i></a>, I present another edition of "Southern Discomfort."<br />
As promised in this week's <a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/columns/emike/archives.htm"><i>Scholarly Tabloid</i></a>, I present a special edition of "Southern Discomfort."<br />
7 am – The alarm sounds and its off to the beginning of another beautiful…fuck that. I’m tired. Not bothering to sit up, I deftly apply the martial arts only years of Chuck Norris films could bestow to swiftly kick the snooze button. <br />
“<i>New</i> Facebook is fucking creepy.”<br /><br />So, how many times have you heard that in the past 24 hours? Awesome. Take a tally and write down the speaker. I’m copyrighting the expression and charging a fee. Of all the “get rich" schemes, this one possesses the genius of Paris Hilton…so you <i>know</i> it’s marketable. Copyrights are so hot right now.<br />
<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/inspired_13-735297.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/inspired_13-732428.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/parker lewis cant lose2-756067.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/parker lewis cant lose2-752659.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>
<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/inspired_13-757933.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/inspired_13-754527.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>
<a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/studentcrossing-709388.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://www.pointsincase.com/emike/uploaded_images/studentcrossing-707449.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><b>Deals on Wheels</b><br />