In the wood shop, you live by two rules: “measure twice, cut once,” and “it’s just a spice rack, eyeball it.”
On your left you’ll see our first exhibit titled “Coat Check.” Wait for just long enough to doubt whether it will really be worth it.
The office toilet backing up is probably not the best use of The Dark Knight's time.
Readers will be delighted, frightened, and enlightened, though a few will want to skip a certain scene—you’ll know which one.
And his use of my signature catchphrase, “Smell you forever because you stink that bad.” I knew I should have had that copyrighted.
It’s been 34 minutes since my last message, and you haven’t jumped on the chance to implement BRAINDRAIN to help your organization.
I no longer wish to ride an aging plow horse. And yet, when I ride to the horse dealer and request a sleek, red mustang, I am met with ridicule.
You seem like the kind of girl who stops traffic. Do you happen to work in a red light district?
Top 5 Worst Places to Be Shot
1. The Gap
2. The hip
3. In line for the waterslide (near top)
4. The Head… and the Heart revival tour
5. During a traffic stop on your way to an interview at The Gap
I was a runner in high school. We went to the state championship. And when people say they went to the state championship, that means they lost the state championship.
If spotted, DO NOT CHASE. Instead, acknowledge his beauty, respectfully. Obviously all dogs are beautiful, but he’s a stunner.
I’m really excited to get to know you better! Where do you live? What are your hobbies? What are you eating right now?
Some part of my subconscious is absorbing everything though, right?
Remember the opening scene from "The Dark Knight"? That was one of ours.
