1. What sort of fashion statement does your mask make?
- This is about a deadly pandemic killing hundreds of thousands of Americans. But ok, yes, I ordered some fashionable masks on Etsy. No reason not to look good.
- It totally cramps my style. I want everyone to see my nose at all times, even when I pretend to wear a mask at the grocery store.
- My mask is black. I have a killer black outfit. Plus, I get to wear a cape!
2. When do you take your mask off?
- When I’m on a nature walk, when I’m home, when I’m in my car.
- Whenever I feel like it. I am making America great. I don’t need a damn mask.
- Only once, to look on my son with my own eyes.
3. Why do you wear the mask, and what are your views about life support?
- I wear the mask to protect others in the community from dying during a pandemic. It helps decrease my risk a bit too. I really hope I don’t catch COVID and need life support.
- I don’t wear a mask. What does life support have to do with anything? Is this a trick question?
- I got the mask because I need it for life support after I burst into flames following a light saber battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi on a volcanic planet.
4. How does your mask affect your breathing?
- I can breathe through my mask just fine. Doctors and healthcare workers wear them all the time and do the same.
- You can’t breathe through a mask. Period. People were even holding up signs saying something like “I can’t breathe.” And they're some of the same idiots who want everyone to wear masks!
- I grow tired of answering this, so it will be the last time: I need my mask to breathe. I find your lack of PPE disturbing.
5. Do 5G towers affect the mask in some way?
- Umm no.
- Yes, aren’t you paying attention? 5G, pedophiles, and pizza are why the deep state tries to force us to wear them.
- In my galaxy, we don’t have 5G towers. But sometimes I do get fuzzy transmission going through asteroid fields.
6. Should children wear masks?
- Yes, they do all around the world. If we model good behavior, and encourage our kids to wear them, then they will.
- Only on Halloween.
- Luke and Leia and I were social distancing before it was a thing. But I knew my grandson from the time that little psychopath was born. And yes, Kylo wears a mask. He also likes to play with my old mangled mask.
7. Are you from the Dark Side?
- I’ve got a t-shirt with Princess Leia on it that says “We are the Resistance.” Ok, and another one that says “Leia Organa for President,” but that one was a joke. Kind of.
- Yes. We have cookies.
- Join me…. With our combined strength, we can end this COVID… and bring order to the galaxy.
If you answered:
Mostly A: Go you! You wear a mask like a considerate person. If you're taking the quiz in another country (or on Alderaan), you're just considered “normal.” Tell your sister you were right.
Mostly B: Your thoughts betray you. Unfortunately, you are neither a Sith Lord, nor a citizen of the world. You might live in Florida. Put on a damn mask and repeat the quiz.
Mostly C: Congratulations, you are a true Lord of the Sith! Depending on which movie you're in, you might: seem good but be on the verge of turning evil; be evil; be back to being a good ghost. Keep wearing your mask!