Are You Starring in a Horror Movie or Sharing a House with Small Children?

1. You can’t remember the last time you slept. Friends and family members regularly express concern about your haggard appearance. But whenever someone asks you whether you’re all right, you smile faintly and whisper, “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
2. You hear at least one bloodcurdling scream a day.
3. You’re on the toilet when you see the door handle begin to turn, slowly. Someone or something begins to rattle the door back and forth as if trying to force it open. Suddenly, it stops.
4. You arrive home to find messages scrawled in red on every mirror in the house. You scream.
5. Whenever you hear noises in the night, your partner sleepily mutters, “Don’t worry about it—I’m sure everything’s fine.” You insist on investigating anyway.
6. At the end of a long day, you’re relaxing in a hot bath with your eyes closed when you suddenly feel like you’re being watched. You open your eyes to find a small, pale figure standing next to the tub, staring down at you. You scream.
7. Someone in your house keeps pretending that a creepy little doll named Sally can talk and asking you to set a place for her at the table.
8. You arrive home to find small handprints on the walls of the hallway. Your heart pounds in your chest as you follow them down the hall, terrified of what you might find. With each step, you whisper, “Everything’s fine. Everything’s fine.”
9. You keep trying to throw the doll named Sally away because she creeps you out, but every time you do she reappears unexpectedly somewhere in the house.
10. You turn a corner to see a small figure standing at the end of the hall. It stares at you and says, “Come play with me, Mommy.”
11. You’re making out with your partner in bed. Just when you’re both beginning to pant and moan, you look over and see a small, pale figure staring at you from your bedside. You scream.
12. When you finally do manage to throw Sally away for good, someone keeps talking to her like she’s still there. Sally doesn’t like you.
13. You’re not sure you’re going to make it out alive.

1-13: Starring in a horror movie
1-13: Sharing a house with small children