- If you hear a loud wailing sound, seek shelter immediately
- Makes a huge mess at Walmart
- Will completely ruin a round of golf
- Known for its capricious cruelty
- Formed during a hot summer night in a small Kansas town
- The absolute worst and most dangerous place to experience one is inside a motor vehicle
- Has been known to occur on every continent except Antarctica
- Can only be safely viewed from a great distance
- One is too many; more than one is a fucking nightmare
- Can be avoided with careful planning
- Makes you wish you had never moved to Kansas to pursue a romantic relationship
- Often compared to a freight train
- Disappears as suddenly as it appears
- Usually less than one mile wide
- Nicknamed “The Topeka Twister”
- People will not stop trying to capture its exploits on video
- Manifestation of God’s wrath
- Whatever you try to feed it, you end up wearing
- Has played a pivotal role in more than one Kansas divorce
- Everyone seems to be a goddamn expert on how to deal with one, but that’s not helpful when you’ve got one tearing up your living room
Toddler: 1-20
Tornado: 1-20
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