Early March 2020
Richard Scarry’s What Do People Do All Day?
People leave their homes to attend work in various professions, make purchases at stores, go to routine medical appointments, and enjoy leisure activities with friends. It is comfortingly ordinary.
Mid-March 2020
Where’s Waldo?
Hint: He’s in a throng of people. Conceived in the tormented fever dreams of public health officials, Where’s Waldo? will go on to be adopted as a textbook in epidemiology programs to demonstrate the concept of the “super-spreader event.”
Late March 2020
Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Oh! Literally nowhere!
April 2020
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight moon / Goodnight Zoom / Goodnight, everyone judging my room
Miss Nelson Is Missing
I mean, she’s here, but she can’t work the laptop camera thingy. Hang on a sec, she’ll check her settings.
Green Eggs and Ham
It’s what we’ve been eating this week because the grocery delivery order included some troubling substitutions.
The Pigeon Needs a Bath!
As do I.
May 2020
The Tale of Peter Rabbit
Wherein we root for the villainous Mr. McGregor, because we understand all too well that his backyard garden means a lot to him right now and may be the only thing giving his essentially hollow life any fleeting sense of purpose or meaning, so lay off the fucking radishes, you adorably mischievous bunny.
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
A.k.a. Alexander and Every Day.
The Day the Crayons Quit
Are you sure you’re willing to walk away from a stable job, crayons? In this economy?
June 2020
Corduroy
Bankrupt department stores start to be converted into habitat preserves for stuffed bears.
Where the Wild Things Are
The king of all Wild Things, Max, eases restrictions, decrees, “let the wild rumpus start!”
Dragons Love Tacos
Right away we have an ill-advised dragon party with boatloads of tacos. After it’s over, the only way to sanitize the house is to burn it to the ground.
Late June 2020
Richard Scarry’s What Do People Do All Day?
People leave their homes to attend work in various professions, make purchases at stores, go to routine medical appointments, and enjoy leisure activities with friends. It is comfortingly ordinary.
Where’s Waldo?
Hint: He’s at another super-spreader event.
The cycle above continues until a vaccine is distributed throughout the population, scientists develop an effective treatment, or everyone dies—whichever happens first. Sleep tight, little Johnny!