From 42nd Street to Funny Girl to In the Heights, over the years there have been many iconic musicals, set in New York City, that have wowed and inspired New York audiences. Unfortunately, here are some musicals that probably would not be as popular with New Yorkers.

Gentrify! Gentrify! Gentrify!

Set in modern-day New York, Jake Sanders is a down-on-his-luck land developer who only has one dream in life: to successfully gentrify the neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant. With the help of a young, plucky housing speculator named Lilla LaRoux (and maybe a little song in his heart), will he be able to replace all those disgusting lower-income brownstones with beautiful, expensive high-rises?

Guys and Dolls and Also One Random Guy Who Keeps Insulting Derek Jeter

Basically this show is the plot of Guys and Dolls but, inexplicably, there is also one random guy on stage who keeps insulting Derek Jeter and saying that Jeter was the only reason the Yankees lost the 2003 World Series.

Boston Spider-Man

Spider-Man was born in Queens? I don’t think so! In this three-act musical, Spider-Man is a proud, Roman Catholic, Boston resident who moves to New York City because, in his words, “Boston is wicked safe already.” Watch in delight as he swings over the audience, punching baddies with one hand and holding a crisp, refreshing bottle of Sam Adams lager in the other.

Welcome to Jersey City… The Greatest Borough of All

Set in the great state of New Jersey, this musical will lovingly remind audiences how Jersey City is actually the sixth borough of New York City and, more importantly, how it is actually New York’s best borough (much better than those lesser, rinky-dink boroughs like Staten Island, the Bronx, and Manhattan).

Dating in This City Is Too Dang Easy

Young, single, 26-year-old Lucinda Nicklesby keeps finding eligible men in New York City. There are just too many of them! Every time she goes on a first date on Tinder, she meets her soulmate. Every time she’s out at a bar with her friends, she keeps finding smart, funny, sensitive, emotionally available hunks who are looking for a long-term commitment. Dating is so stupidly easy in New York that poor Lucinda can’t help but scream (or sing, as the case may be)!

West Side Story 2

Uh-oh… those pesky Sharks and Jets are back at it again with some more za-a-ny antics! In this gut-bustingly funny sequel, Diesel, Baby John, and all the rest of the Jets must go on a hijinks-filled cross-country road trip in order to make it to Anita’s wedding in beautiful Sacramento, California. But, when their old nemesis Officer Krupke stops them in Las Vegas, will they be able to make amends and get to the ceremony in time for the rehearsal dinner?

The Great Gatsby, But We Frame It As Though Tom Buchanan Is the Protagonist

Oh no: Jay Gatsby came to New York to steal this guy’s wife… not on Tom’s watch!

Aaron Rodgers Joins the 2023 New York Jets: The Musical

This musical tells the true, empowering, real-life story of how Aaron Rodgers joined the New York Jets during their 2023 season of football. Highlights from the show include the 75 million dollar contract Rodgers signed with the team, as well as the Achilles tendon injury he received during the very first game which took him out of play for the rest of the season.

The Wonderful World of the F Train

Look out: this groundbreaking, site-specific musical is the first show of its kind to be set directly within one of the trains of NYC’s world-famous F line subway service. Featuring boisterous songs and dances, as well as performers who directly interact with the train’s commuters, this two-hour-long production will make you laugh, then cry, then learn some amazing, true facts about the subway. But remember… you’re not allowed to leave the train until the entire show is over!

Uh-Oh… My Loft in SoHo Is Too Affordable!

Carol McGannis has the perfect career, the perfect husband, and the perfect life. She just has one problem… her three-bedroom, 2,400-square-foot loft in SoHo only costs $650 a month. And that’s just too darn affordable! Can Carol McGannis take the time from her busy schedule of being a luxury hat designer/heiress and bump up her monthly rent payments? Or will she be trapped in her inexpensive luxury apartment forever?

Rats

It’s Cats, but with rats. (Jellicle rats, that is).

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