If By My Life or Patchouli Amber I Can Protect You, I Will — A spicy musk melded with a sturdy, foundational undertone.
Tip: Try this after a home invasion to help restore your feng shui.
I Am Aragorn, Son of Arathornberry and Lemon — A sweet, tangy mixture that adds a little razzle to your daily dazzle.
Tip: Try this while attempting to conceive for increased fertility rates.
But It Is Not This Day at the Beach — A refreshing mix of ocean air and salt water sure to remind you of your toes in the sand.
Tip: Try this when you feel like you’re being stalked to spirit your mind to far-away places.
Not Idly Do the Leaves of Lavender Vanilla Fall — The classic one-two punch of subtle lavender and sugary vanilla. A bestseller!
Tip: Try this when attempting to build a bridge between our realm and the ethereal.
There Is Still Hope and Basal Wood — A dashing duo combining the richness of basal wood with the crispness of fresh air.
Tip: Try this when being buried alive to alleviate the tension and improve your outlook.
I Know What Hunts Youcalyptus Mint — An incisive blend that weaves a piercing mint with a feisty eucalyptus connotation.
Tip: Try this to remind your inner demons to either do something constructive or shut the hell up.
You Bow to No Orange Honey — Stand tall with our sweetest blend combining a respectful orange overcast and a handsome honey.
Tip: Try this when you’ve suffered a debilitating or potentially life-threatening injury to give your nostrils something else to think about.
You Will Suffer Melon and Cucumber — A can’t-miss partnership that carries cucumber’s sparkle with the melting vibrancy of honeydew and cantaloupe.
Tip: Try this while attempting to cook to mask the scent of a recipe gone awry and/or aflame.
For Frododendron and Azalea Blossom — A brave floral combination of rhododendron and azalea.
Tip: Try this in your tiny apartment while you dream of wide-open spaces that don’t smell of dank weed, molten lead, and body odor.
The Shards of Narcinnamon — A staple boasting the rich vibrancy of fall’s finest cinnamon aroma.
Tip: Try this when you feel ordinary to remind yourself that true originality is just one more regularly-priced candle away.
Isildur’s Heirloom Rose and Tea Tree — Our pluckiest of the bunch, combining the smoothness of tea tree with the undeniable purity of the heirloom rose.
Tip: Try this before a job interview, or, better yet, during.
Striderwood and Guava — A tropical and earthy mixture that brings hardy sandalwood into holy matrimony with the sultry guava.
Tip: Try this when you sense a malignant addition to your digestive system to encourage it to evacuate at the nearest emergency exit.
Then I Shall Dandelion Citrus as One of Them — A daring blend of dandelion and lemon-lime, delivering a cutting, fresh aroma.
Tip: Try this in the morning for a spirited wake up after a night of minor societal indiscretions that will surely not affect the rest of your life.