Living Room Swear Jar: $2
Dining Room Swear Jar: $1
Dark Corner Of The Attic Swear Jar: $57
Kitchen Swear Jar: $2
Bathroom Swear Jar: $1
Crevasse Underneath The Toilet Swear Jar: $84
Front Yard Swear Jar: $2
Backyard Swear Jar: $1
Perched Atop The Snooze Button On The Alarm Clock At 6:59 AM Swear Jar: $85
Garage Swear Jar: $3
Inside The Daily Newspaper I’ve Picked Up And Unfolded For A Leisurely Read Swear Jar: $88
Home Office Swear Jar: $0
Between The Couch Cushions Where I’m Feeling Around For The Remote Swear Jar: $97
Laundry Room Swear Jar: $4
Jumping Out From Under The Dryer Lid I’ve Opened Just As My Eyes Adjusted To The Overhead Light Swear Jar: $102
Upstairs Hallway Swear Jar: $0
Upstairs Hallway At Night After Hearing A Nearby Scuttering Swear Jar: $42
Cradled In The Hood Of My Sweatshirt I Wore For A Run And Pulled Over My Head As It Started Raining Swear Jar: $49
Nestled In The Tip Of My Running Shoe That Goes Completely Unnoticed Until About Three Miles Into The Same Run Swear Jar: $52
Walking Home Barefoot And Half Naked Swear Jar: $15
Shower Swear Jar: $247
Shower With All The Lights On And No Shower Curtain And No Curtain Rod And Holding A Gun Swear Jar: $0
Closet Where I’ve Been Staked Out Watching A Box-And-Stick Trap With My Running Shoe As Bait And Waiting For Hours Swear Jar: $0
Closet Where I Get Hungry After Hours Of Waiting And Make A Sandwich For Myself Swear Jar: $0
Crawling Out From The Sandwich I Was About To Bite Into Swear Jar: $393
Tree House I’ve Decided To Live In For The Foreseeable Future Until I Muster Up The Courage To Burn Down My House Swear Jar: $3
Bedroom Where I Intend To Rescue My Wife And Instead Discover A Cluster Of Tarantulas Resembling A Man Sitting On The Edge Of The Bed With Her, Listening To Her Talk About Dealing With My Fears While Offering Her Kleenex Swear Jar: $17
Refrigerator Where My Child’s Drawings Hang Depicting The Tarantula Cluster As A Superhero Saving My Wife And Kids From A Plus-Size Villain Who Looks A Lot Like Me Swear Jar: $16
Courthouse Where The Tarantula Cluster (Who Apparently Has A Law Degree) Representing My Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife Shows The Judge My Rough Sketches Of How I Was Going To Burn Our House To The Ground And Then Dance Maniacally In The Ashes Swear Jar: $10
The Tarantula I See Jumping On My Face Every Time I Blink Swear Jar: $931
Inside “The Tarantula I See Jumping On My Face Every Time I Blink Swear Jar” Swear Jar: $931