Sunday
- Eat expired sausage
- Shoot finger guns at someone attractive
- Write a children’s book with terrible rhyming meter
- Join a cult
Monday
- Put on the same underwear you wore yesterday
- Mistake a wolf for your grandma
- Spill a 44-oz Sour Patch Watermelon Slurpee® on your laptop
- Touch your eyeball with a soldering gun
Tuesday
- Use Sony ATH-M3 headphones in places where the inability to hear ambient sound presents a serious risk (such as at railroad crossings, train stations, construction sites or on roads where vehicles and bicycles are traveling)
- Leak nuclear missile codes
- Go to T.G.I. Fridays—it’s not better than you remember
Wednesday
- Stop Believin’
- Look Back in Anger
- Worry, Baby
- Worry, Be Happy
- Speak
- Let Me Be the Last To Know
- Dream It’s Over
- Stop Me Now
- Stand So Close to Me
Thursday
- Pinch your chin in the clips of a bicycle helmet
- Start a women’s e-fashion brand with a name that combines two vaguely bohemian floral, culinary, or zoic nouns (e.g., Ginger + Juniper, Peaches & Milkweed, Barn Swallow and Blueberries)
- Buy a blimp
Friday
- Buy a car from a guy named “Skaggsfravel”
- Cross the road before looking both ways
- Resort to a life of crime
- Assist others with their oxygen masks before putting on your own
Saturday
- Accept a big wooden horse from a former enemy
- Forget your quarter in the Aldi shopping cart
- Pay a locksmith $95 before checking to see if the car keys are in your coat pocket
- Make a deal with the devil
- Touch that dial because 102.5 KWR will be right back with the best of the '90s through today
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