Random Australian Guy: I don’t like that term, Remote Economy Parking. It sounds so meager and distant.
Random Australian Guy: I don’t like that term, Remote Economy Parking. It sounds so meager and distant.
Me: Yeah, they should at least advertise it a little and change it to something like, “Hey, At Least we Have Shuttles.”
Security Guy: Wow, this is not the first time you’ve traveled, huh?
Me: Actually, I think I had you last time I was inconvenienced by the system.
Security Guard: Well, it’s nice to leave an impression, I guess. You sure didn’t.
Me: You love this gig, don’t you?
Kid Sitting Next to Me: When I grow up, I’ll be taller than you.
Me: Is that so?
Kid Sitting Next to Me: Faster, too.
Teenage Girl: I’ll give up my seat to sit in the middle over there.
Middle Aged Father: Shut up and sit down.
Captain: In case you were wondering, I am one of those flight captains who points out the many sights and locations I know you can’t see from your seat. I Just thought you should know.
Me: Seriously, when did all the pilots turn into amateur comedians?
Mother of the Kid Sitting Next to Me: Well, it has been rough for the airlines this year. And humor is a way to cope.
Me: So, what do you do for a living?
Mother of the Kid Sitting Next to Me: Raise children.
Me: Good money in that?
Mother of the Kid Sitting Next to Me: Not where I work.
Me: I like coming home and seeing y’all. You’re a lot nicer than I remember.
Chip: Yeah, well you left a while ago. There’s a lot to forget and a short time to enjoy ourselves.
Dino: Doc won’t go to the ballgame with his son.
Me: My last game in Busch Stadium, too.
Dino: And I’ll bet your Dad went to your first one with you, didn’t he?
Me: He sure did. And he paid for it then. I was gonna pay for it this time.
Dino: Aw, that’s too bad. Doc, why won’t you go to the ballgame with your son?
Dad: It’s way too hot.
Dino: Because of the heat? That’s your pansy ass excuse? Come on, Doc. He’s your son.
Dad: He’ll be fine.
Dino: I don’t know. I think he’s heartbroken. I can see a tear welling up in his eye. I think he may take that into therapy with him one of these days, Doc.
Dad: Lay off, already. It’s too damn hot.
Me: Pansy.
Dino: You tell him, Nate.
Tiffany: We’re staying for the whole game, right?
Me: Yes, we are, because I have seen the Cardinals come back from down two runs as recently as Tuesday.
Tiffany: I was just asking.
Mom: You should write children’s books.
Me: Yeah, that’s a great idea.
Lloyd: So I’ll bet the weather’s worse here, huh?
Me: Yeah, but not by much.
Me: So, I’m sorry I missed church.
Mom: Yeah, we’re not gonna talk about it.
Lloyd: So who pulled the number down when you were at the game?
Me: Mike Shannon. I’m glad it wasn’t someone I would have wanted to boo, like Tim McCarver.
Lloyd: Yeah, I imagine a lot of fans suffered that fate the day he pulled his number down. Probably not a good feeling. On the one hand, you want to commemorate the game, on the other, well, you just don’t like the man. Sounds like you got lucky all around.
Me: Well, the weather sucked.
Lloyd: Maybe, but it was like that for everyone Friday night. Count your damn blessings already.
Me: My flight in was much funnier than this one.
Stewardess: Yeah, um, I’m sorry about that, sir. We’ll try harder next time.