Me: So, if Hurricane Wilma hits land, what would be the over/under on the resulting Flintstone references in America?" />
Me: So, if Hurricane Wilma hits land, what would be the over/under on the resulting Flintstone references in America?
Dan: Dude, that’s like asking me how many drops of rain Wilma would produce. It’s gotta be in the millions.
AJ: You think it’ll hit us Nate?
Me: No way. It’s too late in the season for Wilma to come this close. The water’s too cold. We may get a few wind bands and possibly some tropical storm winds, but that’ll be it.
Main: Like you know which direction the wind’ll move your piss. Shut the fuck up.
Jaime: I love it when you wear your work clothes to the bar. You look so smart.
Me: So my appearance is smart?
Jaime: No. You’re appearance is sharp. But you look smart.
Me: How can I not look like I appear?
Jaime: I don’t know. But you do it everyday.
Me: You should come with us to Skipper’s. It’s hippie night.
Doug: I hate hippies. They stink and they’re lazy.
Me: Don’t loan ‘em money and they’re the greatest people on Earth. Come on man, they stand for peace.
Doug: That’s great. If they felt the same way about soap, I might be there. I think I’ll stay home.
Me: You see, the hippies would say that your attitude stinks.
Doug: Fuck them and fuck that. I’m not spending tonight out with a bunch of dirty hippies just because you miss hanging with freaks.
Me: You see, it’s an attitude like that, that practically locks you up for a seat in the senate.
Some Girl: You know, you’re not all that hot.
Me: So?
Some Girl: So where do you get off acting like that?
Me: Why are you talking to me?
Some Girl: Because you offend me as a woman. I feel your kind needs to be addressed.
Me: So, you’re addressing me.
Some Girl: I’m not hitting on you, you cocky prick. I’m trying to tell you to act like a decent human being.
Me: Because…
Some Girl: Because everyone needs to act decent. The world is filled with pricks.
Me: And yet you picked me. You left your friends and walked over here and decided to address my cocky attitude. There’s four guys in this conversation. Why are you talking to me?
Some Girl: You know what, fuck you. Maybe I did decide to talk to you because you’re the only one here without a fat gut—sorry, guys, but seriously, stay away from the carbs—but that doesn’t mean anything. You’re still wrong.
Me: I’m not arguing that. I just figured, ‘cause you addressed my attitude, I’d address your motivation to do so.
Some Girl: You know why you’re single? ‘Cause you can’t lose an argument. Rot in hell.
Me: Have a good night.
Me: I hate people.
Dan: Yeah. That's a shame. I can tell they like you a lot.