Me: I’m having a hard time coming up with snippets this week.
Me: I’m having a hard time coming up with snippets this week.
Amy: Well, I mean, you haven’t left the house for five days.
Me: It really is a nice TV.
Ryan: So, you seeing a new girl now?
Me: Yeah. How’d you know?
Ryan: I think the whole neighborhood knows. She… she ain’t quiet.
Me: She’s a nice girl, though.
Ryan: Sounds like it.
Jen: Where you been? You haven’t been around much.
Me: I’m seeing someone.
Jen: What? Every night?
Me: Seems like it.
Jen: I can’t believe you found a girl that could put up with you that often?
Me: Seriously, it’s a wonder why I don’t come here more.
Ryan: You ain’t nutted on any of these couches, did you?
Me: Not to my knowledge.
Ryan: But you had sex on them, right?
Me: Yeah.
Ryan: So where should I sit?
Me: Ryan, I don’t think you can find a surface in this place I haven’t had sex on. You want a beer?
Ryan: You didn’t do nothing freaky with that bottle, did you?
Me: Would you mellow out?
Me: Sean Penn’s brother died, I heard.
Brian: Yeah, I’m all broken up.
Me: Heartless bastard.
Me: When did you become frigid?
Amy: Around the time I started bleeding vaginally.
Amy: The best thing about the snippets is that you feel like you’re sitting somewhere and overhearing a bit of a conversation that’s totally funny on its own. That’s why they’re your best writing.
Me: Thanks. But it’s not so much writing as it is just remembering.
Amy: Okay then, it’s pretty good remembering.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Amy: Well, you do get a lot of them wrong…