Today is a day without immigrants. Apparently, in response to some proposed immigration crackdown (I’ll believe it when I see it), millions of immigrants have decided to abstain from attending their jobs in order to show the world what life would be like without immigrants (I’ll believe it when I see it, er, don’t see it—whatever). I love it when groups of people respond to a stupid idea with a stupid idea. Always makes me smile.
Renown economist John Galbraith passed away yesterday. He was best known by most Americans for writing “The Affluent Society” and for advising presidents and other world leaders on economic matters. He was best known by me for bitch slapping a sixteen year old prostitute on our vacation in Mexico. Johnny… man he was crazy. I’ll miss that wily old sumbitch. I mean that.
Hey, middle aged women of Tampa: I get it. I have a cute butt. You can stop now.
Yesterday, I met a girl who told me that she didn’t have a boyfriend, that she was only “dating” her man and that she was keeping her boyfriend options open. Later on in the conversation, I found out that she lives with the guy she’s only “dating.” And I thought to myself, “Wow, that is one long date.”
My friend Royce recently started the “We Ain’t Right” Club. When I asked if I could join, he told me that I was too wrong to be in the “We Ain’t Right” Club. I honeslty don’t know how I feel about that.
Only thirty more days until hurricane season. Buy your plywood, water and generators now. Get your hatches all nice and clean so they can be battened down later. Get ready to hunker down after those hatches are battened and prepare to go a few days without electricity. It’s like camping. Only it’s in the city and it’s not that much fun. Oh, and by the way, if New Orleans gets hit again this year, I will conclude that God thinks we party too much and hates Cajun fried shellfish.
Once again, because it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want: Albert Pujols is the man. There’s not a better hitter in baseball. Pujols for mayor. Viva la Pujols. Wooo! (That felt great.)
Reason number 207 why I ain’t right: I had a twenty minute conversation with a fifty year old biker in which we debated who would win in a fight: Jesus or Superman. We concluded that Superman would win, then Jesus would come back to life and absolve him of his sins. And we were (relatively) sober.
And finally, because John Galbraith predicted that logic and fluidity won’t be influencing The Nate Way market until Tuesday at the earliest, I leave you with the following, which I saw on some kid's T-shirt:
I Fucked Kobe and all I got was this Lousy Shirt.