Me: What's new in the world?
Steve: Let's see. I graduated college, Rob got arrested for embezzlement and my mom's cat died.
Me: Sorry to hear about the cat, congratulations on graduating, sorry to hear about Rob and where the fuck have I been?
Steve: Probably inside some hot, little girl and I don't want to hear about it.
Me: What? You'd rather talk about the cat?
Steve: I'm not making a pussy joke here, Nate.
Me: Spoilsport.
Rochelle: You'll still fuck me while I'm on the rag, right?
Me: Sure, just lay down some newspaper or something.
Rochelle: How about some towels?
Me: Whatever.
Carl: You ever think that women are plotting to take over the world?
Dan: No, dude. I think they already have.
Rochelle: So, all my blood is making you hungry for a steak?
Me: Medium rare.
Rochelle: Actually, that does sound kind of good.
Dan: This is Carl, my former roommate. This is Royce, my friend and former coworker. And that's Nate, the dude who broke the door to my BMW.
Me: You're never gonna let that go, are you?
Dan: Sure I will. Just pay me two hundred bucks.
Me: All right, fine. Keep hanging on to the past.
Steve: Why don't you play videogames?
Me: I don't know. I just think they're kind of boring.
Steve: Then what do you do for fun?
Me: Drink, fuck, watch sports, fish? you know, real stuff.
Steve: Fuck you.
Me: That doesn't sound fun either.
Guy Whose Name I Always Forget: You don't remember me, do you?
Me: I mean, I remember you. And I know that I know you. But as far as your name goes?
Guy Whose Name I Always Forget: I'm never telling you my name, again.
Me: I think I'll call you, Guy. How's that work for you?
Guy Whose Name I Always Forget: What do I care?
Me: Sold.
Luke: Hey, Nate. This is Luke. I'm just calling to leave you a message to say that I made it to Orlando safe. Not like you give a fuck. And that it probably wouldn't suck to see you again, so if I'm in Tampa again, I'll probably give you a call. But, maybe I won't. Anyway, good luck with the writing. You'll need it. Peace.
Labels: snippets