John: Dude, you know Ron Paul can't win the presidency?
Me: Why not?
John: Because, you can't just tell the people that the government's not their dad. That would mean they have to find a new dad.
Me: Are you drunk?
John: That has nothing to do with anything except how drunk I am.
Me: I'm not gonna argue that.
John: Good boy.
John: You see, people are fucking stupid. I mean, think about how dumb the average person is.
Me: Okay?
John: And then realize that there are over 150 million Americans dumber than that.
Me: That's a Carlin joke.
John: What, I have to limit myself to original material now?
John: So anyway? stupid people.
Me: What about them?
John: They don't want the government to stop telling them what to do. I mean, think about public education.
Me: What about it?
John: Two hundred years ago, if you told people that they their federal government was in charge of their education, they'd have been seriously suspicious. I mean, why wouldn't the government do its level best to hide information detrimental to their rule from those they educate? Why wouldn't they just omit the evil truths about themselves?
Me: I don't know. To preserve the sanctity of true education?
John: We're talking about the government, here.
John: So, back in the day, the idea of the same people who tax and rule you also educating you was so stupid it was comical. Now, people act like it is a necessary role of government to educate us but they don't even know what the Department of Education does.
Me: What do they do?
John: Fuck if I know. If I had to guess, I would say various administrative things.
Me: That's from A Few Good Men.
John: Again, I ain't all that original.
John: And it's the same with health care and the economy. Everyone relies on the government to fuck them, so when you threaten to take that away and replace it with freedom, the people are all like, “But we need the government to keep making the economy worse and keep making it impossible for me to get the health care I need.” They don't even realize that they're saying it. It's like the entire country has Stockholm Syndrome. They're all like, “Please rule me. Please tell me what to do and think. Please, I'm a goddamn idiot.”
Me: And that's why Ron Paul won't win?
John: Yup. He doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell.
Me: But what if we educate the people on?
John: You can't undo eighty years of propaganda with a few months of education. Face it, man: you'll never have a President that cares about your freedom because you live in a country with a bunch of misinformed, lazy assholes who don't care about freedom. That's how this works. The government has us over a barrel. They care; we don't. So they win.
Me: That's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
John: I hate you.