AJ: It's like, none of us are Giants' fans, but we're all rooting for them. We're like mercenary fans.
Me: Huh?
AJ: We're like rented fans. None of us really like the Giants but we're rooting for them. It's like a lesser of two evils.
Me: Kind of like an election?
AJ: Sadly, yes.
Stephanie: You've been in a shitty mood all day.
Me: No I haven't. It's just been a shitty day.
Stephanie: What's the difference?
Me: A shitty day just sucks. A bad mood just makes me feel shitty.
Stephanie: And act shitty. Which makes us all feel shitty.
Me: I didn't know I could affect a day like that.
Stephanie: Lot of things you don't know, shithead.
Me: That's just cold.
Me: Why is everything my fault?
Lila: Because, you handle it well and it's easier that way.
Me: Easier than what?
Lila: Easier than me dealing with it.
AJ: Dude, that play didn't even give you a chance to be impressed.
Dave: Yeah, it was like, ‘how the hell did he break that tackle… holy shit… how the hell did he catch that?' The whole thing was spontaneous freak.
D: Like raping a junior high chick.
Me: That is fucked up right there, Dude.
D: Not as fucked up as she was.
AJ: Oooh.. sweet nasty.
Sharon: You still writing on the internet?
Me: You still have internet connection?
Sharon: Of course.
Me: Then make better small talk.
Sharon: I can't count the ways I hate you.
Me: Why don't you think I'm an asshole?
Lila: Oh, I know you're an asshole.
Me: And you like it?
Lila: Being a single woman basically means picking your kind of asshole.
Me: Really?
Lila: Yeah. And you're my dirty asshole.
Me: Romantic.
Lila: When are you gonna finish writing already? We have to work tomorrow.
Me: Tell my readers you love them.
Lila: Okay. Love you. Bye.
Labels: snippets