A party is being thrown and things are getting a little crazy, in a good way.
Guy #1: “I just feel bad for people who aren't drinking right now.”
Guy #2: “Like people without water in Africa?”
Guy #1: “No, like sober kids in Chicago.”
Guy #2: “Oh, yeah, me too. We should start a charity – Get Children Drunk.”
Guy #1: “Whatever. That's too much work.”
Guy #2: “I was kidding. How can you start a joke and then not understand when people further the joke?”
CUT
Guy #3: “Speaking of which – this sink is probably having a terrible time. It hasn't had a single morsel of alcohol and everyone just throws their dirty cups and dishes on top of ‘im.”
They look at each other.
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” they both blurt out at the same time.
“Let's get the sink drunk,” they jinx.
“Chug! Chug! Chug!” everyone shouts as the sink takes down whole 40s and bottles of vodka like a champion.
“This sink is the man!” someone yells out.
“Whoo! Sink!” everyone shouts as they walk by it.
“You fucked up, sink?” A jock asks the sink. The sink doesn't say anything and the jock stares at it for several minutes, waiting for a response. “Fuck you, sink.” He walks away. “The sink's a dick.”
A shady-looking guy comes up to the sink. He drops a roofie into the sink. He unzips his pants and starts having sink sex. He is finally finding his groove when the owner of the house walks into the kitchen.
Owner: “Hey! HEY! That's a dude sink!”
“What?!?”
Owner: “That sink is a dude, dude!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he bellows. “But…it has a…”
Owner: “I know, I know. It's one of those transvestite sinks or whatever.”
“AHHHHHHHH!” He quickly pulls his soupy penis out of the sink hole. Not that there was soup in the sink, but rather a soupy mixture of food and liquid from everything dumped in the sink over the past several days. “Why do you still have this sink?”
Owner: “What am I supposed to do? Huh? Disown it? Throw it onto the streets? I couldn't just stop loving it when I found out it was a tranny.”
“Uh, yes you can…”
The rest of the night, everyone avoids eye contact with the sink.