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Got a haircut and started showering every day. And I’m pretty sure he got my Michael Scott tattoo removed, but he won’t let me see.
It was good to hear the inside of my mouth also looked "healthy, but super grody, you know, like mouths are."
I’m not very good with computers, could you clarify what you mean by “you somehow attached your son to your previous email rather than your story”?
Soon, I’ll have to decide which to marry. For now, we do a lot of courtship. One of them might stare at me, and I stare back.
I’m going to call for an exorcist soon, and it just won’t do for her to be in her typical house-wear of leggings and a cozy sweater when he arrives.
She rolls into my office like one of those rotating hot dogs at 7-11. You know the ones, plastic-y but intriguing.
The Gingerbread House from Hansel and Gretel: Start a new magical chapter in your storybook with this enchanted cottage built entirely out of candy!
No, of course not. It's no big deal. This happens to everyone. Right? Everyone has little involuntary muscle spasms sometimes.
Because the romance author who wrote your story didn’t quite know how to end their book.
After running out of per diem, your child will unwisely accept financial help from their Russian pen pal.
So where are you holding the wedding? Is it going to be in the sewers of Chicago?
What would you rather have: frugal parents who saved almost $2 a month, or documented proof that you experienced a childhood?