Customer service is, as before, abysmal.
Mother say I need to stop moping around cave and get outside. So come up with a plan.
“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.” “Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”
Belphegor's prime if you feel the nation’s morals are lacking and perhaps we do need the firm hand of a monarch.
Claim: Most lawyers find that cilantro tastes like soap. / Foundation? Foundation, but most things taste like soap to lawyers.
Undergo hypnosis therapy: you can’t lose time recalling an actor’s name if you never knew their name to begin with.
Turn the sheet so that the elastic edge faces you. Do not look directly at it, lest it sense your anxiety.
A shy pastor is one who waits for the choir boy to make the first move.
On the first day, God said “Let there be light” and there were overhead fluorescent lights. God saw the light, that it was bad. He regretted His lack of specificity.
My friend has multiple personalities. But he’s good people.
Name: Dick Van Dyke Species: Jerk Physical Appearance: Tall and rude. Personality: Straight white man.
Are you looking for anything specific today? Just browsing? Awesome—mind if I watch from the other side of the room?
Our value option, the Chuckle Tier, includes smirks, knowing smiles, and obligatory chortles at the wisecracks of uncles.
You'd never know that it is an alive organism, save for the occasional dampness and an appropriate amount of mold that forms on the sleeves.
