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At The Wachowski Home, we believe that each of our orphans is generic and unremarkable in their own unoriginal way. Join us for basic living standards and practical preparation.
Tag: Corporate
How to Make Comedy Writing Story Hooks Out of People at Your Day Job
Interesting people make for the best comedy writing hooks, so you need a steady influx of new faces, characters and setups. That's why you get a day job to be a better writer.
Dear Elon Musk, When Will AI Let Me Force Choke My Disobedient Children?
When will your muscle movement bracelets become widespread? And more importantly, will I be able to fit my children with them before I am driven to insanity?
Honest “Working From Home Today” Emails
Hey everyone, gonna go heads down on this project from home today. I concentrate a lot better in my apartment since I don't have to do boring things there such as my job.
How Kleenex Developed Its Most Extreme Tissue: Chipotle Explosion
Your regular tissue box might wet your grandma's panties, but that cardboard facade couldn't begin to contain the Chipotle Explosion, our most intense tissue ever.
We’re Not a Regular Startup, We’re a FUN Startup
Are you trying to avoid waiting tables or working with children at all costs? Can you feign sufficient interest in digital advertising? Then read on for ArrowTek's openings!
To Be President of Amtrak, I Must Start as the Restroom Cleaner
At corporate events I will talk about my roots: "50 years ago, I was hired by this fine company to clean the restrooms on the Merced to Oakland route..." and so on.
20 Signs PIC Has Taken Over Gannett Publishing
USA Today headlines: "15 Signs Your Roommate is Sleeping with a Manatee" and "Secret Lives of Sand Fleas in Trump's Hair."
The Art of Head Faking Your Boss
With boss man bearing down on you, tilt your head to the left. His head will follow yours. Wait ten seconds. Hold the tilt like you would an ice cream cone.
This Self-Driving Car Does Not Need Humans
"cAr™ doesn't seat humans." This has always been front-and-center in the cAr™ design philosophy. Try it for only $1,695 a month and $70,995 for the basic cAr™.
11 Inspiring Quotes from Americans Working Jobs They’re Totally Unqualified For
"Never bottle up your confusion. Think out loud. An effective way to communicate your muddled beliefs is Twitter." -Kisha P., Police Desk Sergeant
Career Aptitude Test (And Definitely Not Just Recruitment Material Sponsored by Ocean Spray Cranberries, Inc.)
Would people describe you as: A) a creative free-thinker with an "outside the box" mentality, B) a process-oriented manager focused on the big picture, or C) a cranberry farmer?