And yes, before you ask, this is the best I could come up with---I mean, what was supposed to do? Not break into your house and steal a bunch of shit?
Once the kayak is stolen, the Captain sells the 'yak to fund his groovy seaside summer adventures and to replenish his supply of slushy drinks.
Great Awakening Soufflé: Stir pent-up resentment amongst white Americans (preferably men, but women are an adequate substitute).
The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.
Sometimes, when you brew coffee I get flashbacks of how you’d sit with your feet inside me as you discussed search engine optimization.
Michael and LeBron do not like mountain climbing. They’re just not any good at it. Conversely, Baby Goat can scale a mountain like nothing.
Sure, the freezing lake water feels like a thousand needles in your body. But sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you can feel anything at all.
In character as “Yusef Frankfurter,” he told me that he wanted his next project to be about a very handsome and courageous mayor.
Will my introvert get along with other introverts? Absolutely! Tenderly move them to a safe space for them to bond over their feelings or whatever.
Adopting the moniker Steg For More, Larsson’s first album produced the song “Leggo my Steggo,” which hit #5 on the Australian Billboard Top 100.
*UNSUBSCRIBE* Have you ever tried yoga? *UNSUBSCRIBE* Do you think you might have high blood pressure?
Honestly? I should get the Peace Prize. I started this friendship, but whatever, no one seems to care and Donny will take credit, yet again.