U.S. Begins Hunt for Twin Towers Following bin Laden Death
Moments after announcing that American soliders had killed Osama bin Laden, President Barack Obama vowed to begin the search for the missing Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.
Tag: All In Jest
Prebirthers Demand to See Obama’s Parent’s Sex Tape
Just days after releasing his birth certificate, President Obama is under new attack by citizens demanding to see the videotape of Barack Obama, Sr. and Ann Dunham having sex on or around November 4, 1961.
The Party Tow Truck
Anyone who calls a tow truck must be in a shitty mood because their car just broke down, what better way to cheer them up than bringing automotive help AND a party?!
Like a G6 (Pilot Pen Remix)
Wavin plastic in the night, like a wizard, When we ink we do it right gettin quizzard, Stirrin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6, Now I'm writin so fly with a G6.
So Relaxed, Must Read Digitally
Why the Kindle trumps books, comedy is hard in prison, rappers believe in God, and bras disappear from the pile of post-sex clothes the easiest.
Potential Observations on Dandruff, Penguins and Email
My most embarrassing misconception: I always thought penguins were as tall as humans. There's never anything in Antarctica to reference their size!
Chile, We Have a Miner Problem
I can't let this go any longer. I must confess: I find nothing miraculous, heroic, exciting, or dangerous about the Chilean miners' rescue or predicament.
The World’s Most Confusing Email Addresses to Tell Someone Over the Phone
<p><img src="/files/u2/email-keyboard.jpg" alt="EMAIL spelled out on a keyboard" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="160" height="123" align="right" />Picture yourself on the phone with a customer service representative who's trying to take down some of your information to process an order. Now imagine how long it would take with one of THESE emails:</p><p>[email protected]</p>
Sumo Rivalry
It's been 3 years since the good folks at Sumo sent me their original bean bag, the Omni. Well, they could be bad folks who sell awesome chairs, I don't really care.
Why I’ll Never Shop at Express Again
<p><em>The following began as a Yelp review, and ended as a really awesome Yelp review. Thus, a blog entry.</em></p><p>I showed up at the Atlantic Station Express today to return a pair of $23 jeans I had purchased at a different Express store. What happened in the 11 minutes I spent in the Atlantic Station store is almost beyond belief.</p>
From Now On, I Will Calculate My Utility Bill Myself
When you put a Sumo wrestler on a seesaw, you make it hard for the other side to meet you in the middle. That's a bad analogy for "Vertex sucks."
Starbucks All-You-Can-Eat Wi-Fi Porn Buffet
<p><img src="/files/u2/starbucks-porn-wi-fi.jpg" alt="Starbucks free Wi-Fi porn" title="Have you seen my nipples?" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="150" height="134" align="right" />Starbucks just announced that on July 1st, they will offer <a href="http://mashable.com/2010/06/14/starbucks-free-wifi/" title="Mashable.com: Starbucks to Offer Free Wi-Fi at All Stores Nationwide">unconditionally free Wi-Fi</a> (always capitalized, like "Internet" and "Mother Nature" and "BP"!) at all of their stores nationwide. I can only speculate potential reasons they didn't implement this earlier, and none of them hold much water (or should I say, coffee): </p>