America | Page 13 | Points in Case

Tag: America

Best Direct Message: Brent Stanko for 1:26am Christmas eve message to ex-girlfriend: “Saw you’re home, would love to reconnect!!”

I owe it to the world to share, and the world owes it to me to shut its bread hole and endure my incessant babble about chickpea pasta.

The 1950s: He never calls you again, and you find out from his mom that he got drafted into the Korean War.

I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?

But never did I think while I was pouring over the medicinal properties of deer antler spray, that you were shirking your prepping commitment.

Mary Anne is a hawkish White House staffer in her late-20s who drafts war plans with Iran which never quite climax, but her sexual plans always do.

Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.

While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.

Linked directly to Climate Change, immigration is. Displaced by imperialist wars like your culture, many orphans have.

You also get free points if you have advice on what to do when your beloved pet gets evicted from his favorite shelf in a seldom-used closet.

When we step into that partitioned desk and face that confusing-as-hell democracy apparatus, we’re ALL America’s Sweethearts.

Nixon Resignation (1974): Oh, Fortuna, the revolutions of your wheel pile even the masters into the muck.