When I got a text from my wife that you looked at her beautiful food grinders and said, “Are these rocks in your mouth? Who put these in?” I got mad.
The Dropkick Murphys performing "Shipping Up to Boston" while Irish dudes do shots and maybe make out a little bit just to see what it's like.
If you and your partner are weighing the options of starting a family, consider incorporating your offspring as Limited Liability Children.
CO2 emissions > Gases of prosperity | Smokestacks > Beacons of progress | Crude oil > Liquid America
Battlefield Of Nothing Special: where our nation’s soldiers duked it out for no good reason, and left a legacy that no one can put their finger on.
There were signs: Marco Rubio found Mitch had recently searched for “sexy outraged citizens tear male politician to shreds video.”
You will know it is your Town Hall when we remove your blindfold and handcuffs and you find yourself seated across from Anderson Cooper.
When Allisyn awakens in his bedroom filled with Reservoir Dogs posters and empty Gatorade bottles, she’s charmed. Starring Gal Gadot and Seth Rogen.
FEDERAL HOUSING ADMINISTRATION (FHA): A liberal conspiracy to make everyone live in hippy communes.
Accidentally kill yourself on a snorkeling adventure you’re not trained for to see the coral reefs before they, too, go to be with the lord.
All Hands on Dick, a film that French director Georges Méliès called, “The most stimulating cinematic treasure since my The Conquest of the Pole.”
You: Uber, why are we taking Broadway? Uber: We are briefly stopping at your ex-girlfriend Karen’s house on the way. You two need to talk…