An Open Apology From Fred Durst, Who Did Not Mean to Do It All for The Nookie
Once desirous of The Nookie, I found it began to stifle me, the voice of my generation. I became the gatekeeper of what was and was not Nookie.
Tag: America
Warnings About My Small Town From a Local Intellectual
Don't go to church on Sunday? You might as well be drinking abortions out of a fancy wine glass made of Reagan’s bones.
Where the Hell are All the Snowmen?
Every snowstorm, I was out in my front yard. That is your duty as a child in America. These snowflakes need to buck up and make a fucking snowman.
It’s Me, Good Ol’ Michael-Joe Moderate, Here to Critique These Lefty Ladies Before I Deign to Enter the Race
Now, believe me, no one respects #MeToo more than Good Ol’ Michael-Joe Moderate. I respect it so much that I’ll say it’s gone too far.
The Family in “A Quiet Place” was Actually Afraid of Noise Pollution, Not Monsters
How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?
What to Do When Your Second-Grader Brings Home Bad Artwork
Now that you’ve sufficiently tortured your sweet angel for the past hour, make him watch as you make your own macaroni artwork.
The Best Fyre Festival Content Coming Out in 2019
"Fyre Fight": An anticipatory look back at the time-wasting Fyre Fest content wars of 2019.
The Alphabet, Ranked
10. U: Used by moms in texts across the world. And candy hearts. And Prince. I love Prince. I would die 4 U.
Survey: How Do You Feel About Being Black?
"For a long time, I didn't care. But now it's been six years since my last promotion, and that has me thinking." —Zachary Easton, Coder
The Internalized Fantasies of a Queer Latino-American Boy
“I’m not racist,” I say, laughing. “The first guy who sexually assaulted me was white.”
Just Spitballing Here, But Maybe I, a Billionaire, Should Run for President
Rest assured, I have heard the cries from the people, and I’d like to consider myself extremely in tune with what they want: more centrism.
Ways the World Could End and What Happens After
The Sun Explodes: It’s been on fire for a few centuries now, it is only a matter of time until it explodes like a thing of bug spray in a campfire.