America | Page 31 | Points in Case

Tag: America

Keep in mind: we have a "zero-tolerance policy" on tardiness!

Wooden coffee stirrer, remember when Straw convinced you that the barista went through 45 toothpicks a day? The look on your face! God, he was fun.

I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about, but as a practicing clinical psychologist, he probably knows something that I don’t.

The Office’s (U.S.) water cooler, The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler, was personally recruited by Greg Daniels.

Great Awakening Soufflé: Stir pent-up resentment amongst white Americans (preferably men, but women are an adequate substitute).

I recently heard from Fox News that two men ages 70 and 72 fought over free cheese at a Costco in South Carolina.

While a Nathan Hale could die but once, I, Wayne LaPierre, must oversee a daily sacrifice nearly five score that many Americans from gun violence.

I’m five things: IT, chai-tea, yoga, Bollywood and the Taj Mahal. These are the only things I’m known for, thanks to you, America, my dear friend.

Thin Mint talks first. She looks healthy but is no longer the waifish figure from past boxes. Despite her added curves, she's lost none of her snap.

The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.

Imagine if we depicted all of humanity as tiny, pink, whiners with aggressive tendencies. Your species would not appreciate this behavior.

Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.