The End of the World Will Get Such Great Ratings
Ratings only gonna get better, only higher with all this North Korea drama. I'm telling you, the end of the world is gonna do so well on TV.
Tag: America
15 Alternative Birth Control Methods in Trump’s America
A helpful list of alternative and underutilized birth control methods for women worried about potential changes to American healthcare laws.
Why are People Talking About My Son Instead of Ivanka?
My children, folks, so beautiful, so terrific. But one still stands out, the gorgeous Ivanka. So all this talk about Don Jr., all these fake news stories, who cares?
High School Yearbook Profiles of Trump’s Top Cabinet Members
Superlatives for Michael Richard "Mike" Pence: "Most Highlighted Bible," "Most Likely to Stay on This Side of History," and "Best Hair."
Answers to Five Burning Questions We All Have for Anthony Scaramucci
Usually Anthony Scaramucci likes to be called "Mr. Scaramucci," "CEO Scaramucci," or "The Dark Lord of Business." But he'll also answer to "Tony Scrambled Eggs."
The 7 Sexiest Airport Departure Lounges in Florida
For all you thrill-seekers planning your next naughty weekend in the Sunshine State, here's our definitive visitor's guide to the sexiest airport departure lounges in Florida.
The Wall Was Just a Racist Metaphor
I hear these liberals saying, "Look, President Trump hasn't done anything—no wall!" Didn't get that when I said "build a wall," it was just a racist metaphor.
Apology Perks for Tourists Visiting New York During Trump’s Presidency
In an effort to atone for the most powerfully embarrassing New Yorker on the planet, New Yorkers are now offering insanely generous perks to tourists visiting this summer.
Lost Your Mojo? Join the “Regain Your Mojo at the HoJo” Hotel Seminar
Stage hypnotists are using everything from scare tactics to the element of surprise to downright threats to unlock the door to the Mojo begging to be let back in.
Mark Zuckerberg Introduces Facebook Bona Fide for $8/Month
For just $8/month, Facebook Bona Fide will allow users in the six travel-banned countries to make up to 12 Bona Fide friend requests each month to users in the US.
When I Need to Handle International Crises, I Stay in a Lovely Trump Hotel
Mar-a-Lago, Trump Tower in New York, Trump Tower in Chicago, all safely outside the war zone. Every single direction, up, down, I built them all.
How I Became Woke AF By Spending 6 Months Meaning to See Moonlight
For months, when my less-woke family and friends talk about movies, I proudly declare that I've been meaning to see Moonlight and actually want to see it really badly.