Make America England Again
Independence was cool for a while, but we're young adults now. And what do young adults do these days? They move home to live with their parents!
Tag: America
Casual Letters from Kim Jong Un to the Western World
Comrade General Kok Suk Lee said writing letters is a good idea. Appeal to the capitalist lackeys in their Satanic Homelands, he said. I hope he's right.
Dear Overlord Pence, Of Uterus-Controlling Indiana
You signed a bill backing legislation to effectively control the uteruses (uteri?) of all Indianan women. That means all the women will go to neighboring Iowa now.
Softees: Five Reasons Americans are About as Hard as Pudding
People have found so many things to cry about that one can only wonder: what happened to our backbones? Americans used to be tough, now we're straight jelly.
Why I Have an American Man Crush on Canada
Canada's main exports are wind, geese who shit constantly but only on golf courses, and overly-polite white people. Their main imports are American tourist gamblers.
5 Solid Facts That Prove the World is Actually Getting Better
The world is nowhere near as bad as everyone says it is. It can't be, otherwise we would all have exploded by now. Here's a bunch of awesome shit happening.
US Government Survey: Why Did You Vote?
Please check the appropriate box below, so that we, The United States Government, know why you chose to vote in the most recent election last Tuesday.
Steal These Tweets: America the Absurd
50 tweets highlighting the most ridiculous aspects of American culture. Click on any of them to retweet. Know that you did something funny for your country.
If the US Had Defaulted on Its Debt
Tim Cook, in taking over for Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, the most successful company on Earth, reveals a startling revelation about what would have happened had we defaulted on our national debt.
Underground History: Panhandles of the Great J. Edgar Hoover
It's well known that FBI director J. Edgar Hoover was a flaming, cross-dressing closet queen with an obsession for large male appendages. Here's the rest of Hoover's strange story.
The 12 Types of Infantry Marines
Remember the Marines commercial with that asshole climbing mountains and shit, fighting dragons with a sword? Well that's a bunch of horse shit. Here's a look at the 'real' Marines.
A Basic History of Florida, America’s Dick
Florida has provided the world with jerk-off sports teams, early bird specials, hurricanes, and plenty of illegal Cubans. Unfortunately, the adult film "Hung Chad" was never made.