America | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: America

With so much laughter and Vicodin flooding the streets during the daylight hours, powerful dream beasts emerge to rule the night.

For starters, many of you have been attending parties. We told you not to do that! We thought you’d listen to us.

Can’t seem to think of a good slogan. “Minnesota: Chug It Down!” No, that’s not it. “Minnesota: Everybody in the Pool!” Closer, but still no.

The signature we have on file features Shrek ears over the "s" in an apparent reference to the 2001 DreamWorks film starring Mike Myers.

Enter the front yard and you are immediately confronted with the Graveyard of the Norms. Every tombstone reads the name, "Norm 1776-2016."

Imagine the home-field advantage for the SF Identity Thieves as their mascot "Guccifer 7.0" announces credit card info of the opposing players.

These two American staples have a lot in common: trials, tribulation, love, even amputation. How many will you get right?

I call my contraption "Four Score and Seven Thrills Ago: Honest Abe’s Adventures in American Aviation." I look forward to hearing from you!

For four years we've turned a blind eye to the despicable actions Trump has taken. It's time we focus the discussion squarely on him for once.

Support us at The Lincoln Project and our quest to return America to her former glory: killing poor people but with good manners.

My mask's jerky hole? Yes, what’s that? It’s a hole for eating jerky. I don’t think that works. Please don’t. Oh, you’re showing me already.

"Pazuzu": What was the demon up to before possessing young Regan MacNeil in 1973's "The Exorcist"?