Anger

Tag: Anger

We couldn’t have possibly known the janitor would return as a scarred ghoul hellbent on murdering teens. And besides, they’re YOUR dreams!

Look at me! Perfectly shaped for ass! And yet the ass does not want me.

I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?

Every Tuesday during that weird evening time slot where nobody you call picks up we’ve been coming here to air out our grievances away from you.

A childhood love of swords became an adulthood of arguing with my spouse about turning our foyer into a showroom of my medieval cutlery collection.

Every one of His punchlines, every expression He makes to elicit a laugh must be met with an unequivocal, unmistakable outburst. Or else.

2. It’s predictable. Wow, 2 came after 1. Just like you expected. It’s dangerous to take anything for granted these days, but that felt pretty good.

If they say something like, "Nice cowboy hat, asshole," pretend you didn’t hear—even though you're the only asshole wearing one.

I want to feed my cell phone to an alligator without causing the alligator any digestive issues.

Podcasting: In your 2 AM hunt for distraction, you stumble on a fun fact. Did you know that platypuses are blue and green under ultraviolet light?

Looking around, all I see are duds. In the sandbox, I see toddlers who don’t even know how to use their own feet.

“The ABCs” isn’t even a good name. I don’t really see the draw.