Single Parent During a Pandemic or Alcoholic?
You’re in no condition to drive. But it would be even more dangerous to let your companion do it.
Tag: Anger
No, I Won’t Stop Dumping Trash on Your Lawn
It is not my fault that your son got a splinter from the demolished wood pieces that I judiciously donated to your lawn.
List: Insults More Effective Than “Suck My Cock,” Because Lots of People Like Doing That
"Weed My Flower Beds" – I dare you to tell the difference between a weed and some bullshit my wife planted. I friggin’ dare you!
Yoga for [Insert Unrealistic End Goal of Breathing and Posing]
Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.
The PDX Protest Festival Lineup
A rundown of all the groups scheduled to appear at Portland's nightly protest, including Average Wife Band and They Might Be Half-Brothers.
FAQ: My Nextdoor Neighbor Is a Russian Oligarch
He also borrowed my weed whacker. How do you get it back from an oligarch? Weed whacking is activity of peasant, not fitting of powerful oligarch .
I Am the Clump of Dried Toothpaste That Takes Over the Nozzle of Every Tube
Think of me as the gamma-ray to your Bruce Banner, only I give you none of the superpowers and all of the anger.
I’m Your Random Chin Hair, and I’m Pleading for My Life
Since I showed up, did I bother you? Now suddenly, because you look into a magnifying mirror for the first time in months, I'm a problem?
Antifa Job Postings, According to Republicans
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?
The Three Little Pigs During Coronavirus
The first little pig went to a boardwalk bar, met up with single pigs, and thought masks were for tree-hugging liberals and was a Democratic hoax.
It’s Time to Break Some Rules and Re-Open Hogsmeade
Remember that I couldn't get my Hogsmeade form signed while a murderer was after me, and I still snuck out for my first sip of butterbeer.
Ways to Reform the Agitated Bear in the Center of Town
We will ensure the bear sits through an hour of sensitivity training that contradicts the lifetime of violent impulses it has acquired.