What Makes Me Stand Out from Other Applicants Is I Have a Little Worm in My Ear
Get this: he whispers to me. Secrets mostly, and sometimes the weather. Yeah, most people are really jazzed when I tell them.
Tag: Animals
The Girls Trip Itinerary for 43 Escaped Lab Monkeys
2:00 PM — The girls have worked up an appetite after all the screaming and feces throwing. Head to bottomless brunch.
Welcome to My Beautiful Store Where I Won’t Tell You About the Bugs
But friend, we are far from alone. We share this space with a legion of bugs.
A Republican Politician Explains Abortion While Being Attacked by Lions
But please whisper these questions. I fell into this lion’s den at the zoo and the lions are sleeping. I want to keep it that way.
San Francisco Could Be a Great City, If It Weren’t for Their Baseball Team’s Mascot
Lou had the t-shirt cannon, we made hard eye contact, and then he shoots the cannon in the complete opposite direction.
I’m Going through a Lot Right Now, but I Won’t Let That Impact My Narration of This Nature Documentary
From the grandiose giraffe to Anders, this guy that works out at the gym my girlfriend goes to. All life, great and small, depends on water.
The World Yacht Tipping Finals, Only on WhaleWorld Sports Network
Throwing out the ceremonial sea lion is actor Brendan Fraser, who starred in "The Whale" and has been known to compete in yacht tipping competitions himself.
We Are Cicadas Who Have Been Underground Since the Obama Administration
Now, front legs clasped, we surge skyward to a world replete with the bounties of over a decade of equality and universal healthcare!
Are You a Werewolf, Or Did You Eat Too Much Cheese Last Night?
You manage to get upright. The movement unsettles something inside of you. You groan, but do not recognize the sound.
Myths and Facts About Balloon Animals
Myth: Balloon animals hate humans for cursing them with life. Fact: Balloon animals only hate the specific human who inflated them.
Effective Immediately, We Are Cancelling Our Mentor-Manatee Program
We are especially pleased to announce that one of our program participants was named one of “30 Under 30 Feet of Water.” (Best of luck, Bubbles!)
Listen, Cat: I’m Not the Out-Of-Control Infant You Once Knew
Look, I know I’ve made mistakes in the past. The kicking. The jabbing. The grabbing. I was a real loose cannon there for a while.