How to Make Every Interaction About Netflix’s “Tiger King”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.
Tag: Animals
I, Editor of the National Enquirer, Have Literally Seen a Sasquatch and No One Will Believe Me
I feel like Elvis when he returned to Graceland after 40 years of guiding climbers as a Sherpa in Tibet. That didn’t happen, but you get the point.
In Which the Great Philosophers Discuss the Matter of Godzilla
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is Godzilla." –Albert Camus / "I came. I saw Godzilla. I ran away." –Julius Caesar
Help! My Head Is Being Consumed by an Octopus, But the CDC Says I Can’t Touch My Face
I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?
Could I Interest You in Bigfoot Insurance?
These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.
All Hail Aegeus II, the New Vermin Overlord of What Used to Be My Apartment
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
I’m Handsome Harry, the Instagram Influencer, and I Just Want to Be a Normal Dog
It was never my life goal to be famous like Sir Charles Barkley, the French Bulldog. If I had my way, I’d be like Butch, the mutt who lives next door.
An Intervention from Your Rescue Dog
Did you pick me up in a Subaru Outback? Full of NPR tote bags? I’m still a wild animal. And not the kind that’s gonna stop you from having a seizure.
The 50 Stages of Toddler Grief
HUNGER: They will want to eat something blue, but not blueberries. Blue. JOY: You managed to find food that is their favorite color!
Trendy Hairstyles for Owners of Non-Mammalian Pets
Our guide to this season’s hottest hairstyles will have you looking fresher than an aquarium after a water change.
The Raven Files a Formal Complaint Against Abusive Customer Edgar Allan Poe
But when I began to say, “Nevermore Courier Service requires your signature for this same-day trowel delivery,” I only got the first word out.
Hot Trends in Realtor Profile Poses
Waist up. Open-neck shirt, light blue. Body angled but just barely, so the viewer wonders, "Is his body angled or not?" One hand across waist.