Animals | Page 14 | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

Redoing my will tomorrow. I may need your social security number. Don’t text it! / I just watched Get Out. Excellent.

A Chimp-Bather Among Us: This two-part documentary series suggests that on May 7, 2014, I stripped naked and scrubbed myself along with the chimps.

"Unless this is some sort of street lingo I need to brush up on, I think you may have accidentally contacted me. LOL!"

I know it’s not very masculine, but it’s really more for my family than anything. I would have gone with a bigger one if not for my wife.

If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.

"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"

Some of these are horses that made the turns and came out on top. Some are turns of phrase associated with a horse still in the running.

It is so very, very stuck. Goddamnit, Frank. Goddamnit. You just had to eat the whole thing, didn’t you? You know better than to try shit like this.

I wanted to send an official cease and desist but my lawyer melted in 2016 so now I have to speak for myself.

He gets excited when I feed him, but seems lukewarm when I reach important academic milestones or make advancements in my career.

Is there a changing area? I was thinking of wearing my cycling gear for the riding events because of the butt padding—makes my thighs look amazing.

It’s a street fair, not a dog park. Your unpredictable canine is not having fun and neither am I. You can’t be apart for one hour? Seek therapy.