Animals | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

Good news… feral pigs are now in 39 states. Thank you, climate change! You spoil us with this superabundance of invasive swines.

A week ago, my girlfriend left me for a flying fish. You know, the kind with the little wings that glide, the kind you hear about.

You name it, I’ve been through it. Casual flings. True love. Nits. Pink eye. And I’ve been a truthteller and a trendsetter through it all.

If you and your partner are weighing the options of starting a family, consider incorporating your offspring as Limited Liability Children.

ka-ha-ka-ha kuk-kuk-KUK | Translation: I’ve got nothing against European starlings. They should just go back where they belong.

An orange squid has entered my dreams, watching me practice my ascending spin and barrel sculls with languid disinterest. I cannot banish him.

"I don’t have any fancy degrees. I’ve never read Murakami. I’ve never read anything, actually. I can’t speak English and I’ve bitten people."

I know this is sugarcoated for the sake of elementary school curriculums but caterpillars do not transform into butterflies. They die in there.

I Love My Car Package: This package is specially designed for those whose 16th birthday was the greatest moment of their life.

Sure, I may never be able to play piano, but who else in my apartment building could have taken care of our rat infestation that quickly?

Rule 3. There are no limits to the number of people in a fight. The nature of our discussion board means that 15-100 people will typically join in.

Not many people know this, but my bees once stung the hell out of Mario Cuomo. That’s right, this horde of insects is a part of New York history.