A Strongly Worded Email to Amazon from Me, an Evil Genius Billionaire, Because the Shark Tank Filter They Sent Me Was Broken
What do you people want from me? To jump in my bald-eagle-shaped submarine and hand-deliver it to one of your warehouses?
Tag: Animals
Is My Dog a Wolf?
Just like wolf mamas out in the wild, she has a den (our closet) where she keeps her babies (plushies, only the ones with faces).
I’m Not Going to Let a Charging Grizzly Bear Keep Me from Living in the Moment
I take a moment to appreciate how mindfully the grizzly is stalking me. Such purpose!
Can Anyone Give Me (and 17 Beavers) a Ride?
Btw can’t pay you, but will provide you with a new car air freshener. The beavers have a bit of an odor. Not bad, but definitely noticeable.
Keith Jeep at the Beach, Jean Collins Live On-Air, and Dating Advice
Keith Jeep escapes the forest for the beach, the tables turn as Jean Collins is interviewed live on air, plus tried and true dating advice.
The Keith Jeep Foundation, Little Douglas, and Hot or Not
Keith Jeep’s new foundation stands up for invertebrate rights, and Jean Collins digs in to the mind of Little Doug, a bright young American.
A Tribute to My Childhood Pet, Whatever It Was
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
Questions a Pet Owner Asks about Puppy Bath Time or Questions My Showerhead Asks about My Bath Time
Should I be worried that she sometimes sits there with the water spraying her in the face?
I’m a Dog Architect, and Here’s Why Your Whole House Should Be Windows
With your current design, there’s no way to know if someone is approaching. I don’t think a homeowner should ever put himself in a situation like that.
Noah Says He’s Sorry for Bringing Chlamydia on the Ark
I maybe should have drawn a line on bacteria, viruses, and diseases, but God wasn’t in a very conciliatory mood at the time.
DIY Bird Feeders and Everyday US Patriots
Join our new big-name columnists for a savory summer of defining opinions. Foodie life, advice, home improvement, interviews, and horoscopes.
Are You Dating a Fuckboy or a Cicada?
- You don’t really know what he does all day. - He has a lot of defense mechanisms from his childhood. - He woos with music.