How “Done” Are the Dishes in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead,” According to Famous Philosophers
Nietzsche: The dishes cannot be done because they are no longer dishes; they are merely objects awaiting their next social construction by humans.
Tag: Arts
Hooray! Minimalist Branding Has Finally Made It to My Rural Hometown!
Whatever the establishment was, I had zero inkling. Whatever the black circle represented, I was stirred to find out.
I Run Social Media for Your Local Craft Distillery, and I Can Photograph Bottles from Every Angle
I can photograph them from straight away with the bottle centered, straight away with the bottle slightly off-center to the left...
Diary of a License Plate Designer
Can’t seem to think of a good slogan. “Minnesota: Chug It Down!” No, that’s not it. “Minnesota: Everybody in the Pool!” Closer, but still no.
I Am Having Trouble Carving My Wife’s Likeness into a Pumpkin in Such a Way That Captures Her Raw Sexual Energy
The farmer at the pumpkin patch is threatening to stop selling me any more pumpkins because he thinks what I’m doing is “fucked up.”
Love It or Hate It, PIC Has a New Logo You’re Going to Like
A new "Bold and Juicy Look" for PIC that includes an all-caps, in-your-face logo proudly declaring, "OUR LETTERS DON'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME WIDTH!"
TV Shows from the Middle Ages Not Picked Up After Their Pilots
Hung, Drawn, and Quartered - Contestants sketch public executions, and the contestant with the worst drawing each week is in turn sentenced to death.
Hey America, All Your Statues Suck (From the Ghost of Michelangelo)
Did no one in art school for the past two centuries take any notes in their Michelangelo class? They still spend a semester on me, right?
As a Divorce Photographer, I Want to Commemorate Your Imminent Separation
While you were once regaled with the chimes of wedding bells, you now shrivel before a vinegary antipasto and await the crushing gavel of defeat.
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day! It Was Built in Two, and We at Romulus & Remus Builders Can Do the Same for You
Have you been sculpting a triumphal arch, but can’t nail the reliefs? Are you hammering away at that sarcophagus, but the measurements are all off?
My Unique Vision for Your Home’s Exterior
Painting that house took a lot of effort and expense. Despite all I went through to realize an artistic vision, that client has refused to pay.
Stuff You Don’t Need from the Museum of Modern Art’s Store Catalogue
Contemporary realist Pavel Shpet’s “manic” salt and “depressive” pepper will liven up any dining table. (Well, one of them will liven it up.)