Existential Thoughts of a Giant Whose Fingernail is the Resting Place of an Entire Universe
Every day I put off cutting my nail only means that when I inevitably do, the annihilation of whole universes will be that much more substantial.
Tag: Astronomy
19 Ways to Get Rid of Aliens on Earth
Let's say we do make contact with aliens and they accept our invitation to Earth. Unfortunately, 206 arrive at once and they're super annoying. How do we get rid of them?
21 Most Annoying Things About Alien Takeover of Earth
Just when the Facebook notifications about all your friends laying eggs finally slow to a trickle, here come the fucking baby pics of gelatinous larvae.
8 Planets With the Strangest Methods of Sexual Reproduction
Eight planets and the actual forms of reproduction by their inhabitants, verified as authentic by Scientology Monthly and USA Today.
I Am a Giant Asteroid Heading Towards Earth After the Horror Show That Was 2016: Ask Me Anything!
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
6 Planets Life on Earth Came From
All DNA and RNA on Earth arrived via meteorites and comets. Here are the strange origins of some of the familiar things around us.
Planet Earth: No Vacancy
In the last 40 years, there's been over 4 billion of us thrown out of the safety and warmth of our mother's canal in order to cling to this shitty rock and be miserable.
Figuring Out the Origin of the Universe is a Waste of Time and Space
I have no idea whether the big bang theory is valid, I just don't think it matters, other than as a good excuse to not do work.
Xtreme Stuntz Roundup
ESPN's X Games doesn't have squat on these daring and dastardly challenges. Moto X? Try Vert-Moonlanding and Subhuman Fusion.