Why the Hell Would You Take Your Children to See Evil Dead?
The first thing you should know about the remake is that it's not a comedy. The second thing you should know is that IT'S NOT FOR CHILDREN, YOU SHITTY PARENTS.
Tag: Bad Acid
Frankenturkey: A Thanksgiving Book Report
From Betsy Haynes, critically acclaimed author of a bunch of dumb shit my girlfriend reads, comes this chilling thrill ride masterpiece of absolute crap from the year of our lord, 1994.
50 Shades of Butt Rub
The Sexy Adventures of Bad Byron, for lonely housewives. Not at all endorsed by the manufacturers of Bad Byron's Butt Rub® Barbeque Seasoning in any way.
Freud vs. Freud: A Psychological Experiment in Dick Jokes
We accidentally made two clones of Sigmund Freud, so we put them in an empty room and recorded the conversation. Somehow this must be relevant to academic psychology.
The Inflammatory Political Quiz
Tired of your tax dollars paying for other people's birth control because you're not having sex with them? Or was it because of that thing someone said in the Bible somewhere?
The Time I Accidentally Started a Religion Because Facebook Doesn’t Get Sarcasm
When asked to describe my religious beliefs when I first joined Facebook, I simply typed the sentence, "It involves spaceships and LSD." Now I'm the founding prophet.
My Hollywood Reboot Wishlist
We need to stop raping my childhood by trying to remake awesome movies I loved growing up, and start remaking the ones I don't give a shit about.
Drug War Heroes: An Interview with Mickey Wolf
The following is a transcript from the weekly radio talk show American Heroes, hosted by Jonathan Gaylord. It has been edited for content by the FCC.
Stealthy Ninja Sexual Triggers
Are you longing for sexy good time with hot lady? Are you grow tired of bad rejected because girls no like? Change your life! Learn becoming sex ninja in three easy steps!
An Appointment with Dr. Hack
Nothing like a good southern trespass to get you going first thing in the morning. Go ahead and drop your pants around your ankles and get on all fours like a dog.
The Make-An-Unreasonable-Wish Foundation
The Wish Master Charity is an exciting new non-profit tax racket designed to bring joy to terminally ill children with totally unreasonable and often physically impossible demands.
Global Warming 2: Satan’s Revenge
Where has Global Warming truly gone? It is not dead, but dreaming. It lies in wait to punish the wicked. The Bible clearly states that Global Warming is the product of Satan.