Jesus for President
Look, marriage is all God this and God that... well guess what: I AM God. So you can either marry ME or you can go screw yourself and die alone. All marriages are hereby banned.
Tag: Bad Acid
10 Classic Things Every Awesome/Terrible Movie Should Have
Next time you're watching a bad movie, turn it into a drinking game by taking a drink every time one of there's a part featuring one of these 10 classic scenes.
Whitney Houston is Smoking Crack in My Kitchen
We're responding to a 911 call by a local homeless man named Copernicus Thunderbird. He claims that the ghost of Whitney Houston is stealing his crack cocaine.
The Birds and the Bees
Your son needs to know about sex, but for god's sake at least get him drunk before you use his mom as example material.
Christmas with the Kardashians (Black Tar Prophecies, Vol. 2)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird, and we're all fucked if Christmas goes down the way I think it will. What you need to understand is that the Kardashians are going to destroy Earth.
The Complete Fucking Idiot’s Guide to the Black Market
So you'd like to become a rich, oversexed druglord/arms dealer, huh? Well welcome to the internet, where you can buy and sell drugs, get laid, and hire assassins with ease!
Fuck Wall Street, I’m Occupying Your House
I want to sleep on your couch naked. I want to drink all your beer and puke in your laundry basket. And I want to cut holes in your family photos and have sex with them.
Adventures in Phone Sex, Part 2
Okay, so we're in the woods on a picnic and we start making out and stuff. You're rubbing my boobs and biting my neck. Then I take off my dress and get naked and smear honey all over my body.
Beware the Dork Knights of Dragon Con
On the business end, Dragon Con is a gathering of some of the brightest artists, actors, writers, and film-makers in the world of fantasy and sci-fi. On the crowd end, it's pretty much nerd Halloween.
Presidential Rap Battle
Republican heavyweights Dick Cheney and John McCain make a spirited bid to take over the White House by challenging Obama to a rap battle. What they didn't count on was the Democrats' secret weapon.
Explaining the End of the World to Children
If there's anything I learned from the Cold War, it's that you're never too young to be a paranoiac. Isn't it time you sat down with your kids and had a nice long chat about global annihilation?
True Horse, Season One
If there's one thing we've learned about girls of the new millennium, it's that they love vampires... and horses. Introducing the too-stupid-to-fail TV show that cashes in on both!