To the Manager of Motel 666: This Ghost Rape Will Not Stand
Dear Sir, I've been a tenant in the dumpster of your motel for two months now, and I can't take the constant brutal ghost rape anymore. I'm suing you for $100 million and a handjob.
Tag: Bad Acid
Lunatic Stripper Fantasy Land
There are certain types of films that exist for one purpose only: to be enjoyed on a purely visual level, preferably muted with White Zombie playing. Suckerpunch is that kind of movie.
The Burger Kingdom is Your Destiny
Ready for the fast-paced exciting world of fast food? Burger king is looking for new talent! Fill out this application to get started right away!
Copernicus Thunderbird’s Zombie Scholarship Program
Attention zombies: Do you have the survival skills necessary to rise to the top of the food chain? Make the most of your undead life. Enroll in Copernicus Thunderbird Zombie Institute today.
An Open Letter to the Mayor (Concerning the Alien Invasion)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird and I'm writing this letter because you are in grave danger. The legions of the Super Astronaut Deathlord are on their way to kill you and rape your wife.
The Troll’s Guide to Internet Comedy, Deluxe Expansion Pack
Congratulations on upgrading to the Gold Edition for only $49.99! Don't bother clicking the back button, I've already hacked into your bank account. Now get to trolling, dick-bumper.
Applying for a Government Grant (Involving Minotaurs)
Dear Government, I need a $500 million grant to breed minotaurs. What can minotaurs do for the economy? Think manual labor, gladiator fights, warfare, and pornography.
Cocaine & Satan: Childhood Memories of the 80’s
When you try to go back and analyze bits and pieces of the 80's—clothes, music, pop culture—it's like someone dropped a bomb full of crazy-dust on the whole country.
Childcare Alternatives for the Morally Bankrupt
So you were too lazy for an abortion, and now you've got an unwanted baby. What do you do? Here are some ideas. You're not going to like them.
The Troll’s Guide to Internet Comedy
You know what I really hate? Jokes. If you're a troll like me, you probably hate them, too. We're not here to read your clever bullshit, we're here to fuck up your comment page.