Today’s Youth are Killing the Proud Tradition of Fighting for Honor and Glory in The Arena
Staring into a man's eyes as you plunge a dagger into them is what person-to-person skills are all about. What better way to learn these life skills?
Tag: Bars
I’m Just a Bride, Standing in Front of Her Bridesmaids, Asking Them to Answer My Fucking Texts
I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!
I’m the Pharaoh of This House and Therefore Must Be Buried in My Man-Cave
Supposedly, the journey to the after-life is long. And so, I’ll need my grill and some prime-ass steaks for the long ride.
What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Cheese Compatibility
Sagittarius: Relishes in cheeses collected from their travels around the world
A Response From the Woman Formerly Known as “Jessie’s Girl”
Your most memorable characteristics of me were “those eyes” and “that body.” Newsflash, Rick: most women on this planet have eyes and a body.
Ennui Tycoon: Turn Your Melancholy Into Gaming Currency
Make sure the infrastructure of your city is unintuitive and inadequate. Traffic will increase the ennui of your citizens.
Realistic Financial Goals By Age 35
Relationships are about one thing, and one thing only: affordable housing. Find someone who doesn’t smell too bad and lock it down.
Please Vote For Me, I’m Exactly Who You Said You Wanted
Some of you have commented on social media asking, “Why are you an angry lesbian who’s trying to take a nice man’s place at the Congress? Also, fat.”
I’m Scaling This Mountain With Nothing But Tincup Brand Whiskey in My Backpack for Authenticity’s Sake
It’s about putting yourself in the life-threatening, strenuous situations that past generations did their utmost to avoid and drank to forget.
We are the Early Gentrifiers of This Neighborhood and We are Pissed!
Before you arrived, there was a vibrant community of immigrants from a country in Eastern Europe whose name is escaping me at the moment.
7 Mixed Drinks Guaranteed to Fuck You Up
The rapidly-swirling vortex of alcohol intensifies as a large mass of Corona streams in from the southwest, touching off tens of banana daiquiris in its deadly wake.
Douche Ukrainian Guy at the Bar
Yuri the Ukrainian, in a move to appear smooth, would sneak under girls' umbrellas and grope them. I didn't know his friends, but I thought this was pretty weird.