Bathrooms | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Bathrooms

Set aside your worries caused by modern nuisances such as technology, automobiles, and the invention of antiseptics.

Dining Room Swear Jar: $1 Dark Corner Of The Attic Swear Jar: $57 Home Office Swear Jar: $0

Some of my other ubiquitous work is "Call Your Mom" and "Single-Line, Semi-Erect Penis and Balls, With Hair Sprigs."

Can We Chat?, 5 PM: Hop off the couch and back on Zoom with a terse smile pasted to your face. Don’t forget to put your shirt back on!

Each time, I smugly think to myself, “I’m right on this time.” I am not right on. Not ever. It always seems to be further back than I think.

I feel like you’ve been kind of distant lately. Hanging out with those new fancy ass moisturizers and toners you bought on sale at Sephora.

The smell is totally normal. Nothing’s leaking. A lot of boats smell like this. It could be all the eggs I’ve been eating lately.

Like, it's actually important, it will only take a second or 30 full minutes, time means nothing to me, I'm 7 shots deep and had lettuce for dinner.

If you need to use the bathroom, it's no problem. Just grab a pair of disposable gloves and follow the tape arrows around to the basement door.

I deserve better than this. I’m elegant. I’m refined. I was handcrafted in Vermont, you barbarian.

"Shameless caffeine addiction" just doesn’t cut it. Chances are you’ve also been avoiding your first screening with a gastroenterologist.

Don’t just stand there, staring at me. You’ve never asked for my consent. I don’t want to be three inches from your swollen uvula.