WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a dazzling display of political prowess, justice nominee and current White House counsel Harriet E. Miers reportedly signed with Atlanta-based rapper T.I. After allegations of potential judicial ambiguity, Miers retorted, “You might see me having brunch with President Bush but that’s because you don’t know me.
CHICAGO - The Chicago White Sox stunned the Red Sox by dominating 14-2 in the ALDS opener Tuesday afternoon. While no Red Sox could be reached for comment, it’s safe to say the team simply appeared "faded."<br /><br />A White Sox fan on the scene summarized the experience with, “You have to give credit to the laundry staff. I mean talk about a clutch performance.”<br />
As your virtual informants in the humor industry, it is often our duty and our pleasure to provide you with additional resources to help you combat the tyranny of boredom. (Okay, honestly, that's my personal opinion on the issue.) Anyway, I'd like to highlight a few of those quickly while I ponder skipping yet another of my "visiting student" classes here at Sam Houston.
The Carolla Conspiracy Theory
Family Fun Night: A Brownie and the Blame Game
Dial "E" For Evacuee
2 Pac 2 Furious: Prose Before Hoes
From Humble Blogginnings
<b>***This Just In***</b>
Defacing Our Digital Reality: A Prelude
For the record, I have yet to proclaim that things are looking up. I'm not exactly dusting the canvas in order to paint a bleak picture of the future, but I can honestly say i'm not exactly seeing <em>Water Lilies</em>. Every day presents a distorted roadmap of a time to come, loaded with winding forks and misleading dead-ends.
It’s been nearly two weeks since I left New Orleans. Two weeks since “Feels like home” was a wholly accurate appraisal of my surroundings. Two weeks since I awoke in the middle of the night to premonitions of an impending need to confess life, love, and liberty to the important persons in my life. Two weeks since I looked forward to the uncertainty of the future.