How to Imagine Yourself Running (and Writing) in a Foreign Country
Step 21: Start by googling quotes about running, a weird number of which are from the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami.
Tag: Birds
I’m Seven Years Old and You, Kid’s Cuisine, Are My Girlfriend
My word. Two penguin stickers here on your side. One surfing. One playing in the sand on the beach. Tells quite a story doesn’t it?
Alternative Wedding Rings for Alternative Couples
Oh, this is one of our newest and my personal favorite lines: rings made from melted-down scooter wheels
No, I’m Not a Turkey Wearing a Mustache, It’s Me, Your Uncle Joe
Can I just say that this is hands down (speaking of hands, I’ve got two of ‘em) my favorite Thanksgiving to date?
What Happens When You Stop Following Trump News: A Week-by-Week Guide
Week 5: Recognizing that life is all too fragile and almost anything can be forgiven, you begin repairing the relationship with your estranged father.
Old MacDonald Had a Bitcoin Mining Farm
And on that farm he had an FBI raid, mostly lawyers and tech nerds obsessing over Lloyd’s wind-powered mining ingenuity.
Your Daily 20-Minute Workout to Prevent Demonic Possession
Can you feel that burn? Well, ignore it. That’s just one of the servants of Satan trying to enter your body through your navel.
Tips for Owning a Birdhouse
Do not launder money through your birdhouse. It is a crime punishable by penalty of not getting to have a birdhouse anymore.
Breakfast Cereal Mascots I’ve Had Impure Thoughts About, Ranked by How Ashamed It Made Father McGillicuddy
Froot Loops’ Toucan Sam is about as dreamy as tropical birds get. Father McGillicuddy had a much harder time wrapping his brain around this one.
The Modern Day Dinosaurs That Plague America
Because of the shape of their heads, turtles spend much of their lives looking down on whatever’s in front of them. Similar to: White people.
Assembly Instructions for a Bullshit Thing You Didn’t Need Anyway
Do not assemble in a wet location. Do not assemble at altitudes lower than two thousand (2000) miles below sea level. Do not assemble in a sea.
New HGTV Shows That are Guaranteed Ratings Juggernauts
Fenrir and Sköll were raised by wolves in the New Mexico desert. Today, the feral sisters redesign homes for people who identify as animals.