Books

Tag: Books

Jump to conclusions why don’t you? I did not lock her in a basement. I’m not a monster. We live in a tower.

Soon, I’ll have to decide which to marry. For now, we do a lot of courtship. One of them might stare at me, and I stare back.

Because the romance author who wrote your story didn’t quite know how to end their book.

9:05 AM: Speed read The Divine Comedy in peripheral vision while sending text. Arrive. Leave.

What no one seems to understand is that, as an artist, it’s my duty to pay homage to all the literary titans who have influenced me.

I think we can all agree that Janet’s character development has been virtually nonexistent since her divorce from Paul.

If you still need more time, we get it. Everyone reads at their own pace, but you must be at least halfway through, right?

Now the new books tell me that I am no longer in print and all the Borders are gone.

To medal in the Turkey Trot, you have to defeat seasoned fitness freaks and erratic savages who only run once a year.

“Heartbreaking and beautiful. The Kenmore 600 Series Safety Instructions and User’s Guide is truly a vacuum cleaner manual to treasure.”

SNARJVK: A rubber vegetable-scrubbing glove, $7.99 or a giant wolf with ivory tusks and purple bioluminescent fur?

Don’t tell me the information in 1982’s Encyclopedia Olympia is outdated! Granted, Yugoslavia’s not a country anymore, but...