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The book mentions a reoccurring nightmare of his, where Bigfoot would chase him across an endless plain, demanding he fill out a brief survey.

My girlfriend first noticed the absence of romance while I was in a stained dressing gown, digging wax from my ears while reminiscing about my ex.

It sounds like it’s coming from… Oh, Dave says it’s his heart beating quick, stealing glances at his beautiful new bride.

“57 Varieties of Courage” Velveeta pulled her long red hair, the robust shade of Heinz ketchup, under a hood before leaving for the morning hunt.

You are in the middle of an elaborate run-on, that due to the nature of its structure, suggests a constantly-looming-but-never-arriving closure...

Whoever is driving around a 1958 Plymouth Fury and running people over, you are being very RUDE! It is LATE!

Becoming by Michelle Obama - A brief history of the bureaucratic red tape Michelle had to jump through to change her last name from Robinson.

Held the top spot on The New York Times best seller list for 104,780 weeks before getting knocked off by Fifty Shades of Gray.

Can you babysit my child or pick up my packages since you're home? What a perfect opportunity to procrastinate and help a neighbor for zero dollars.

All of West Tampa’s aristocrats, from Hulk Hogan to the purveyor of Oxyclean, would cavort around his twirling menagerie of slushie machines.

K. often wondered if he had become trapped in a time loop, like that movie Palm Springs. “My thesis is 467 pages long. What else is there to do?”

Animal Farm by George Orwell You've got goat, you've got mutton, you've got chicken... What you need to do is pick one flavor and stick to it.