Democratic Politicians Narrate “Moby Dick”
Bernie Sanders: Call me whatever name you want. At the end of the day, I am the only sailor who has the guts to fight for real change on this ship.
Tag: Books
What to Get the Person Who Has Everything
The Multi-Millionaire: They have it all. The husband, the mansion, the coke addiction. What could you, their friend in low places, get them?
Old-Fashioned Ways to Meet Someone, for the Modern Day
Using the Instagram photos you got at the wedding, pick your poison: "does improv," "romantic photos with sibling," or "talks a lot about sneakers."
After Watching These Debates, Am I the Only One Who Doesn’t Really Care Who Takes the Ring to Mordor?
Men of Gondor can afford to discuss this ad nauseum, because even under Sauron’s rule you’d be fine, because, let’s face it, you’ve always been fine.
God Submits a Query Letter for His First Draft of the Bible to the Goodman & Forsythe Literary Agency in New York
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
Characters I Assume Are in Little Women
Tuppin Yerp - A rascal! Most days you can find him by the creek, fishing rod in one hand and slingshot in the other.
Republican Senators Question Mother Goose During the Impeachment Hearings of Fairy Tale Villains
I’m looking over the transcript between the sea witch and the Little Mermaid and I don’t see the words "squid pro quo" anywhere.
“Goodnight Loser” and Other Rejected Children’s Stories
Where Are They Now? Ghosts and Their Families / We Hate Each Other, Not You / The Illustrated Book of Lost Pets
I’m an ENFJ, Unless You Factor in How I’ve Acted over the Last 20 Years
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?
Instead of Jerrick Glitterblade, how about Jamal Kingston? A little regional flavor would add specificity to his character.
Just Because We Don’t Agree on Everything Doesn’t Mean I, Harry Potter, Can’t Still Be Friends with Lord Voldemort
And believe me, I get it. I, of all people, know that Lord Voldemort’s beliefs go against pretty much everything I stand for.
Lines from “The Bell Jar” or My 7th Grade Diary?
“I’m absolutely sure that I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.” / “The day I went into physics class it was death.”