How to Survive Summer 2018
If you’re tempted to see parallels between "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" and your country, limit it to the fact that Chris Pratt exists in both.
Tag: Books
Our Airbnb’s Pre-Cleaning Fee Goes to Removing Every Trace of the Outside World
While our aesthetic up until about mid-2016 was "cozy cabin," our current aesthetic is more like "amicably abandoned sanitarium."
An Interview with the Two Largest Books on Your Shelf
Q: Who’s more likely to be used in the event that a fire is desperately needed? Harry Potter: Definitely Jest. Infinite Jest: Me.
5 Surefire Ways to Get Elton John to Come to Your Open-Casket Funeral
Write “Elton” on your left hand and “John” on your right hand, zoom in, and make it look like Elton John himself is removing your space helmet.
I’m The Word “Moist” and I’m Tired of Everyone Always Cringing Around Me
I’m better off without you. You are so frustrating and judgmental. I have never done anything to wrong you, but yet, you still can’t stand me.
Shakespeare Final Exam Written By an English Professor in the Middle of a Raging Divorce
2. How does Iago describe jealousy? "The green-eyed monster" or "Our neighbor Brad's stupid, big muscles?"
The Book was Better
The movie starred the multi-talented and gregarious Luke Wilson, but the book taught me the word "gregarious." The book was better.
It Took Me a While, But I Finally Got Around to Reading the First Six Pages of “Infinite Jest”
Who gets to determine when a novel starts and ends in this postmodern age that you would understand if you had read the first six pages too.
Interview Notes from Trump’s Personal Biographer
If I push hard enough, will this pen go into my brain? Will the Secret Service stop me? There's no way I'm leaving alive; I've seen too much.
The Everyday Life of a Young Male Novelist
Once dressed, I sit at my desk and say a quick prayer to Dionysus. Then I take hold of the mighty pen and let his spirit take hold of my body.
Your Writer’s Block Needs You to Cut the Crap
The Next Great American Novel won’t be written by a 27-year-old with clear braces and a Deathly Hallows tattoo.
Dear Mr. Trump, We Regret to Inform You That We are Unable to Publish Any of Your Manuscript Submissions
Regarding your autobiography, "The Real Mr. T: I Pity the Fool Who Wears Gold-Plated," this was a hard one for us, but regrettably, we have to pass.